Reminders

So I really don't know why I'm blogging about this right now... but it's on my mind right now. So I was at WVCEA Fine Arts Festival at the campus of Appalachian Bible College in Beckley, West Virginia. I end up being a runner for part of the day, and in my day... God had me set through some things that really helped me... Yet it still doesn't take away all of the pain.

So it starts as this... at 8:45 AM we had a meeting and we selected packets for us to be runners for. My friend Meg was there too that day and I wanted to be able to hang out with her some too, and I really wanted to see and hear her piano performance. Basically as a runner we took packets of score sheets back and forth from the judges to the headquarters for the records of scores. So my original packet was for instrumental solos. It was supposed to end around 2:30 PM, but I found out that another packet ended around noon. Turns out that packet was for Preaching and Bible Teaching... and did I mention it was a half of a mile or so from headquarters and the main buildings? Well it was. I thought I was going to be in for it that day and just couldn't wait until noon to get out of work.

Well it turns out that I can't leave my post to see performances until I'm done or when I'm returning a packet for a category to headquarters I could see a performance along the way. Well turns out.. First person and category is from 9:30-9:50 AM and... Meg played at 9:50. As I'm sitting there waiting for the first speaker to arrive and speak, the judges are talking about... how a bunch of people they know have lost their mom. Of course all of these people are in the age range of 40-60. As you know, I lost my mom almost two years ago at the age of 14 at the time, and yes, still today I struggle with missing her. It's definitely not easy still to this day. I still find myself jealous sometimes... jealous that other people in their 30-40's still have their mothers the majority of the time. I still wonder why shes gone now. I understand that things have came out of that, and yes, I do find myself wishing that it could have worked out that everything happened without having to lose my mom.

But anyway, here's my story I was getting to. The very first person preached on God's timing... and how He has the right timing on things always. It just really helped me even more... Just even though I know that He knew what He was/is doing, but just being reminded of it helped. And did I mention that during this time... the speaker started 5 minutes early and finished at 9:45? Well he did, and I ran all the way to the building where headquarters was located, which was the same building Meg's piano performance was. Well, lets say... that not only did God know the best timing for the issue on my mom... this was just even more evidence that He knows. Right after the message mentioning God's timing, I end up getting out just in time to see and hear Meg play her piece and tell her great job and run back in time. Turns out... My music director at my school let me go to eat with Meg and her family and friends with my dad's permission, and came back and spent rest of the day hanging out and stuff like that.

Turns out, Meg placed 1st in digital black and white photography, 1st in textiles, and 3rd on her piano piece that I was blessed to be able to go hear. Turns out that God had the timing for Fine Arts in the best way possible... better than I honestly could have planned it.

Definitely was reminders all day... that God knew what He was doing with my mom. He knows why He took her home. I don't exactly know why, but they're are evidences that probably wouldn't be here at all if it wasn't for God's timing.

From Fear to Comfort

Have you ever lost a loved one? Well... I have. On Wednesday May 14th, 2008, I lost my mom. My life has been an adventure since that day. It seems as... well basically like I am in my second life. It feels as though... I began a new life. It's been a long journey, with many twists and turns since that day. I've had people walk in and then walk out, I've had an amazing person join my journey. She's helped me a lot along the roads she's traveled down with me.

So... before that day.... I had a life, a great life. It was going well for me. I remember the very last time that I had mom comfort me... I could barely walk because of severe muscle spasms in my leg, and she was there for me through that. Little did I know that that was the last time I'd have a mom to comfort me. On that Wednesday... my life was turned upside down. I didn't quite understand what life was... I understood that my biggest fear in life actually came many many years before I thought it would ever come. That night I remember... going home asking God, "Lord, why? I don't quite understand this... What do I do now that my life is seeming to be over?" I remember feeling God literally curl me up into his arms.... not the feeling of comfort... but I felt His arms come around me. I remember seriously... falling asleep in God's arms that night. It was my first night of many that I'd feel that comfort. I remember that whole week...sleeping with my dad downstairs in the living room floor. Then when my mamaw left the house to go stay back at her house, dad and i went back to try to sleep in our normal beds and I laid awake for weeks... months wondering why and still feeling God wrapping His arms around me.

Later in June, I was fortunate to get my first guitar... I felt as God allowed me to get it as a means to try to help ease the pain in a way I could apply myself. I remember... guitar was my life, I lived to serve God and play guitar. I would play with people from church all the time. I remember when we first got the band together. It was amazing for the months that it lasted. That Christmas... God helped my dad find the guitar that I dreamed about. To this day I still have my PRS CE24 and it's my favorite guitar I've ever played.

Short after that, people started leaving my church, and sooner than I knew it, I was the only one left in the youth group again. For years I have been praying to God for someone that I truly cared about to come along, and for them to truly care about me. In March of 2009, God answered my prayer. Meg has been a gift from God to me. She has helped encourage my walk with God along the way and has helped comfort me when I have been down in my adventurous life that seems to be the second one that I have lived. I look back in the time line of my life and pre-life, and God really planned my life to where if one thing was taken out, I don't know if I would have ever met Meg. God really knew what He was doing. God has put Meg in my life. He really answered my prayer. Ten months after God brought her in my life, he still keeps blessing me with her.

I guess... as I have been writing this post... I realized something I always knew... yet it really hit me right now even more. God really did know what He was doing. Yes, I do REALLY MISS my mom. She was a big impact on my life. To this day, she still has impacted my life. God is still there for me whenever I call on Him. He always will be. He comforts me. To this day I still can ask for God to hold me close... and I still feel His arms around me. Even though I try to rejoice in her being in Heaven, and have joy over it. I still really miss her, and I know its okay to miss her and have your hard days every now and then. It's going to be all okay. I need to keep reminding myself not to worry about my fears in my future, God has it all planned out for me. I just need to stick close to Him.

"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof."~Matthew 6:33-34

Some days you just feel like the whole world is ganging up on you. Today has been one of those days, I'm not sure why, but it's been an interesting day to say the least. But that's enough of that for right now. So anyway, moving forward, in two weeks from tomorow, my school's Senior High Fall Social takes place. It's going to be so much amazing fun. Still gotta go get my tie and shirt, but let's wait to have Meg help me find my tie, since it's going to be matching her dress =). Fun stuff right? Just what I thought.

So Tuesday is going to be my first day off of school for a while for PTA meetings at school. I need a breather from school. It gets pretty stressful at times, well I guess that's why it's called school right? Tests, quizes, homework- Oh my! Haha... Yeah, it can be interesting at some points, and not interesting in others, depends on the day as usual. This past day was the very last day of the first set of nine-weeks, three more to go! Starting a new marking period on Monday. That helps me relieve some of the stress of school, yet it means that I am halfway there to my finals for this the first semister. Interesting stuff right? Well that's enough about school talk for now.

So I best be getting out of here and getting in bed. I thought since I couldn't fall asleep that I might as well get back on here and put up another post. Have a good one.

-GodBless-
---Matt---

Church Snares

Hey guys just a quick post here. Be praying for me and for my personal and spiritual life troubles please when you do your prayers. I have many things that go on that hurt. My most part right now is my spiritual walk. It's hard to stay in your walk with God when you feel you do not receive your spiritual enrichment from it. I have been to some other churches, and I can find things that will help me and get blessed from. At my church now, it's hard to be able to learn things that are involved with my life at my age level and being blessed from it. It's really hard, because I'm the only one in my churches youth group. Yes, that means no youth activities for me, but thats only for fun and bonding on a spiritual note. It makes it hard to be able to be taught lessons for my age group when you are put into the adult class. It makes it hard to find Christian friends my age. It really, really hurts. I've been to my best friend's church and I have recieved more help and guiding knowledge from one service there than I have in months at my church. I don't know what to do. I don't have God's peace for myself to try other churches or to stay at my church. Please pray for me guys. With God, All Things Are Possible. Without him, I'm a dying sinner going straight to hell. Please pray guys and thanks for prayers and everything. =)
God Bless you all
Matt

What a thing to wake up to....

So this morning, I woke up to the sounds of my house phone ringing. Well it was my pawpaw saying that he called earlier and I didn't answer, haha, and then he told me he was outside my house and had my little cousin in the truck with him and that they were coming in my house haha. So I go and open the door and let them in. So when they come in, very first thing my little cousin says is "Do you have somethign to drink, Matthew?" So I go and poor him some orange juice, then he comes in to find out I'm watching a dvd of a concert. Then my little cousin starts to dance haha. That was so funny. So then he wants to go play some video games so I go and turn on the video games and i get a text from my friend Meg. She told me that one of our friends grandma passed away, and that really broke me down. It hurts to see that happen. Hey Tyler if you ever read this bro, I'm praying for you. Well so then my aunt texts me, we started working out plans for the evening wiith Meg. So we finally found out what we were doing. After a couple days of confusion of what to do we kinda just figured it out haha. So yea so now I'm just sitting here and had some time to write so well..... look what im doing as I speak... I'm writing! haha. so yeah thats just a little update on my life. Hope to post more stuff soon.
God Bless
Matt